joel's heroes

what the hell? oh, right, I'm tired as hell.

question of the day: should Joel get a MySpace?

oh, k, so, Douglas Coupland, is the SHIT. like, the shit. check out his site, or else you are truly mentally challenged. (no offense.)

my favorite book by this extremely intelligent and insightful Canadian author?


"Hey Nostradamus," of course. Or possibly "Shampoo Planet," but probably not.







Anyway, time for the next hero... My man, FLAVA FLAAAVVVVVV. (And yes, I am dead serious.) His show, "Flavor of Love," is absolutely phenomeonal - rumour has it that Hoopz won. I WANTED GOLDIE TO WIN, DAMNIT. fack.

anyway, mad propz to you for a great show, Mr. Flav.

P.S. New York is a fucking psycho.

OK! And finally, my 3rd hero of the night. My environmental hero who reminds us the importance of our environment every day, the hella honourable David Suzuki.

Because God knows - without these environmentally irresponsable and destructive companies around (i.e. Irving,) our economy will crash! Oh no! However, when our grandchildren are stumbling around in thick smog and various other pollutants, the economy won't be nearly as important. Right, Dave?

Anywho! And though I have to wake up at 6AM sharp, I could not possibly finish off a weekend update without my faithful companion: The Friday Five.

1. How many places have you lived in your life?

I've lived in two different homes (in the same city.)

2. Which was your favorite and why and what street was it on?

My fondest memories are from living on 156 Valleyview Crescent from the age of fetus - 5 years, in lovely Greendale, on the West Side of Saint John. Life was simple, and there were no problems apart from the occasional bruise or scrape. However, where I live now - (I've been here for almost 13 years now,) and I've grown up here, I really have. It's the house I've come home to since starting Grade 1 in September 1992, (we moved here in July 1992.) This is the home where my heart is, but my old home is where the child in me still resides. (Poetic, eh?) ...Of course, needless to say I still am a child at heart.

3. If you could live anywhere for the rest of your life, where would it be?

Um, give me a few years to figure that out, and I'll get back to you.

4. What would your ideal home have in it?

A really great entertaining area, a chic look, an amazing kitchen, lots of rich things, a big-ass bedroom with its own fireplace and an adjascant bathroom with a jacuzzi, and a really hot girlfriend.

5. Can you describe your current crib?

I live with my rents and my two younger brothers, yo. (Enough said.)

///

shit son, what am I doing up this late?

say wut,

Joel

so dark the con of man

Oh, you knew it was coming.

After reading Dan Brown's famed novel, The DaVinci Code, I saw the movie Sunday night, eager to see what the hype was all about.

It was pretty cool, I won't lie.

Granted, much like any novel-turned-movie, the novel is always better. Why? Because instead of some images on a screen, the images are supplied by your own mind - they can be as simplistic or as extravagant as you'd like. In my case, the images were obviously as phenomeonal as possible, but my eye wasn't dissapointed seeing Ron Howard's adaptation.

Seeing the actual locations, so rich in history and detail, was lovely. The best parts of the movie were the historical throwbacks, re-enactments of events no one has eever heard of, let alone ever seen. The decision of what would be included and what would not be included in the New Testament, or the supposed birth of Mary Magdelana's child, Sarah, who was allegedly fathered by Jesus Christ himself... Unforgettable scenes.

Of course, the action-adventure aspect of the movie was heartpounding, especially when Silas (the creepy Opus Dei assassin-man) creeps around, and always ends up coming back like a bad case of the crabs. However, these action sequences only feel like events delaying the sweeping revelation the entire movie is leading up to: The Holy Grail. Who needs running from the police and gun fights when there's "the greatest cover-up in human history"?

Overall, though it is true the the movie is getting bad reviews left and right, please remember the expectations people had for the movie. Based on The DaVinci Code's performance on the New York Times bestseller list, many people have read it. And like I said; visuals from your own mind will always be better than those on the screen.

///

Apart from that, had a lovely past week. Great weekend with the rents out of town, Friday night with Justine, my sunny Saturday off with Kate Vihvelin's retirement party (can you believe it?) and working my first "real" shift on Sunday. It's not so bad.

Anyway, thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed my review - remember - ALWAYS FEEL FREE TO LEAVE COMMENTS! (...Was that... blunt?)

Cool cool like a cucumber and hot hot like fire,
Joel

is it only Annika Beatteay reading this?

no, I know Annika's not the only one to read this beautiful journal of mine, but I thought it would make a good title, don't you think?

it's very... textually esthetic. (I'm going to stop now with my "smart talk.")

here are three photographs I've selected from this past sunday's photoshoot I did with Hilary and Robin, it was Crunk with a capital C.












Though not all of the pictures are up just yet, lots of them are. Check them out on Hilary's esthically pleasing website, Shotgun Wedding. (click "Back to Home Page" to see the rest of the good times, emo style.)

As for Cendant, it's OJT week. (OJT = on the job training.) So, I'm apparantly still not meeting the necessary goals I need to attain to not get fired come Friday. I need to be at 100% (which means reserving a certain number of rooms and making a certain number of transfers per day. If I don't make enough, even if the people calling are calling to make a cancellation or don't even want to rent a room, I have to try and somehow rent them a room and convince them to transfer to a hotline for a "complimentary 3-day vacation getaway."

ya. and I had my bilingual test yesterday, or the day before actually, and passed, with flying colors. shocker.

and I kind of miss people in Toronto, which for some reason surprises me. not that I didn't think I'd miss these people, just not as much. ok, it just sounds bad, but the point is that I do miss some people from TO, though it's becoming clear to me now who was a true friend and who really wasn't at all. eee.

P.S., my birthday this year is on a Friday night. my 19th birthday. BITCHES. good call on giving birth to me on a Tuesday in 1987, Mom, because this is going to be the most crunk party that ever existed... mark my words. (and so what if it's only in early November? it's never too early to start planning!)

I need to stop typing now and get out and do someting, it's a beautiful evening. before I leave, another beautiful surprise from Natalie Dee's brainchild (along with her husband, Drew,) from their site Married to the Sea.

Coolfully yours,

Joel

TGIF has now become OBHIF: Oh, bloody hell, it's Friday.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCKAROO AND A HALF.

Note: If you do not enjoy explicit language, or are offended by such language, or do not enjoy reading unhappy texts, please refrain from reading the following update.

Dear Blog,

Today was not the best of days. It started out nicely, knowing I had reached the final day of my training for Cendant, which was a long and arduous road. Upon arrival, everything was peachy keen, including an hour-long lunchbreak! Hooray!

However, things took a downturn after this. My good friend Ashley Jane from Ontario had to cancel her CRUISE because of family problems, and I felt so badly for her. And then came the time to bid for our shifts for the upcoming little while (these shifts last up until early-to-mid June, I believe.)

For some retarded reason, my name was one of the bottom three on the list. Minute after minute, I sat in our room as new co-workers of mine came in gleefully annoucing their "sweet shifts," talking about 9:30AM-5:30PM shifts, with weekends off.

Finally, my name was called. I walk in. Oh, GOOD! 7AM shifts were the only shifts available. "Why, golly gee, sign me up and shoot me in the face, fucka!" I said to myself. In an ideal world, I would have proceeded to vomit on the page, but unfortunately I was unable to do so.

So, up until a month from now, I'm going to working 7AM-3:30PM (which means waking up at 6AM every morning apart from Wednesday and Thursday mornings, my days off.) VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT.

"This is Howard Johnson Reservations, Joel speaking, DIE."

Well, no, I wouldn't wish death upon any of the customers, but you know what I mean. "FUCKAROO" is truly the only word that comes to mind.

Joel: Hello, Cendant! I have a gift for you!
Cendant: Oh, why charming, what is it?
Joel: IT'S A FUCKAROO

...That feels somewhat better. Except not really. Auuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh.

Who wants to get me drunk and take advantage of me tonight? Call me pronto.

Hugs, kisses, and fuckaroos,

Joel

P.S. What is it with no one returning my calls? ...A huge fuckaroo for you too if you haven't returned my call(s) in the past few days.

P.P.S. Today's Friday Five is about death. Ah, I don't really want to do it, for obvious reasons. So, I'm just going to do the one from last week, otherwise this update will win the E.A. (Emo Association) "Slit Your Wrists" Award of the Year. Eee.

1) Do you like your birth-name? Why?

I sure do! I really do like my name for the most part.

2) If you could change your name to anything else, what would it be?

Probably just make my last name a bit easier to say. Like, I don't dislike my last name, I just wouldn't have chosen it if I had a choice. If I could choose my last name, it'd likely be "Arthurs." Joel Arthurs... Now that's hot.

3) What names would you consider giving your children?

Too simple. My son will be named Kellan, and my girl will be Nigella. I don't care if you don't like them.

4) If you had a band, what would you name it, and why?

Haha, I truly don't even know. It would depend on the band. More likely than not, it'd be either "The Hotties" or "The Models." I don't know yet.

5) Is there a name that you completely hate? Why?

There are none that I completly hate, but there are certainly some I dislike more than others. I dislike generic names, like "Chris" or "Jen," but I know several people with these names. Just keep in mind I somewhat dislike the names, NOT the people! :)

Kitty the receptionist cat speaking, how may I help you?

Oh, training. For Cendant, the call center. Party? Oh, I think so.

It may be long, monotonous, somewhat difficult, and boring, but IT'S MONEY IN THE PIGGYBANK! And oh baby, is it ever money.

I don't really feel like writing very much, except to say I'm having a fantastic time, I have a feeling I'll rather enjoy this upcoming summer job, I'm so glad I got it.

If you'd like, visit Mishelle's new piczo site, "Emergency Room Romance." How... Romantic. It's very nice though, check out the "Amigos" section. Great design, eh?

Right, so all I can truly say is that I basically sit and type at a computer all day, so chilling in front of my beloved lappy as lost much of its appeal, alas my lack of interest in typing anything for y'all. Kind of like "Honey, i love you, but I just can't smile."

"Blog, I love you, but I just can't update."

You catch my drift.

Oh, and I'm soon to get my license, I drive on a regular basis with my dad, apparantly I'm a pretty decent driver after all! License test, here we come?

April showers bring May crunk times,

Joel

Photo courtesy of Natalie Dee. Visit her website at NatalieDee.com.

Feel the Vibe ('Til the morning comes)

allright, it's Friday morning. I've begun my second week of being home for the summer here in Saint John, thus far it's great. really it is.

over the past few days I've chilled with some great people, including JF & Nicole, my high school homedawgs. it's been amazing, really. and I landed the job at Cendant for this summer, sweeeeet. well, kind of, more like MONAYYY. it's a relatively high-paying job, I'm proud of myself for attaining such a job at the age of 18, how very professional of me. it has nothing to do with my professional career, but I needed to come home, you know? as if there'd be TV/radio jobs in Saint John - well there are, but you know. I don't really care for them right now. I just want my friends, my family, my city, and CASH. and I'll be a happy boy for this summer. (which I already am.)

Tom just got a job with Wendy's today... he was hired on the spot. (obviously because he mentioned my name, right?) fyi: I worked a summer there at the tender age of 15. gross.

right-o! as for this weekend, Annika tonight, potentially other exciting things for Saturday. my training starts Monday, oh God, oh gross. May 8th = the beginning of the summer of doom. well, maybe.

Let my summer begin,
Joel

P.S. I really really really really really really really miss my digital camera.

juste pour vous parler brièvement

allright, it's Tuesday evening.

since yesterday morning, I have applied to seven different jobs, have attended one orientation session, and have had two job interviews.

yes, I know what you're thinking: SHIT, SON.

I wholeheartedly agree. however, it'll be worth it in the end. once I land a sweet job, anyway. thus far, my most desired position is at Cendant. (yes, that is a "dreaded" call centre, but please hear me out.)

the pay would be phenomeonal. the hours, not so much, but it's basically all about the money. so, that's my argument. JOEL'S GOTTA PAY HIS BILLS, SON.

as for my past little delightful while in SJ, (I've been back for almost a week now!) here's a run-through.

last wednesday: woke up at 5:30AM to catch my 8:10AM flight. flew over downtown Toronto, it was magnificent beyond belief. got home at 11:10AM Atlantic time, was extremely happy. spent the day chilling, unpacking, and making phonecalls.

last thursday: a day spent with Justine. and well spent, might I add. that night I also visited mariel, it was really great.

friday: um, a chill day? I remember going for a run, and going to do weights at the YMCA prior to that, but who the hell did I see / hang out with?? I have no effing clue, sorry.

saturday: went to Ben's First Communion, it was beautiful. such a charming event. that night, went to see sare's musical @ HVHS called "Anything Goes," spectacular!!! speaking of sare, [sarah alward,] today marks her 18TH BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAHHH! I love you, can't wait for our date and happy marriage in France!

sunday: saw leesh and amanda, went out to Grand Bay to see mare's new cottage... it's got country charm, allright. and no railings... how safe. I met Zero the dog and chilled at the Pumpkin Patch for a while, it was charming. that night I went out with my dawgz mike enright and mishelle carson-roy, it was SO FANTASTIC. we wenttt tooooo the playground at Forest Hills, which was amazing, then saw Scary Movie 4 (which was hilariousss beyond belief,) then went to Blockbuster & Wendy's before rocking out all the way home to Sixteenth Avenue.

monday & today = monday morning went for an amazing 40-minute 5-mile run, just like old times. it felt so good, I don't even know if I could call it just "good." submitting resumes at 7 different places, job interviews with Fundy Region Solid Waste Commission and Cendant.

and this evening, I've had quiiite enough of the job hunting thanks, I'm very likely going for coffee with my much beloved high school friend, JF. and hopefully Nicole. sweet, just like old times.

I'm happy, though. I really am. Isn't that all that matters?

Yours, even from far away.

Joel

Listening to: Such Great Heights, The Postal Service.