springtime wannabe wednesday

so, it's Wednesday afternoon and I'm avoiding work at all costs - what else is new?

ah, so yes. my recent (revival) addiction: Whose Line Is It Anyway? it's especially hilarious because I myself have done improv many-a-time, and I can appreciate the genius of the performers. I am especially fond of the musical talents of Wayne Brady. you can check out his performance of "Greatest Hits of the Bus Driver," with pros Colin Mochrie and Ryan Stiles (both somewhat Canadian.)

fabulous show. my favorite "Greatest Hits" segment is "Greatest Hits of the Lifeguard." in the third song, Ryan Stiles tells Wayne to do a lounge hit called "Bllblblblblb," i.e. the sound of someone drowning. the following are the lyrics to this little song:

Wayne:
(Thanks!)
How many times, have you drowned? (10! Right?)
How many times, have you made this annoying sound? (*Laughing* I don't know)
Oh, you know you couldn't get too far,
Because you're dying and you need CPR
And when that's happened, there's only one thing to say
Whoa, you go "blblblblblblb"
Oh, you go "blblublbb"
Hey, you go "blubllblbb"
You go "blbleeeeeeeee"

Oh, it's just that good. If you really want to see what I'm talking about, click here, then click on Season 1, Episode 9 - it's about halfway through the show. you will ADORE. I promise. (wear Depends.)

and, just for kicks, here's my Friday Five. hollaaa!!! 5 days late.

1. Would you rather serve in heaven or rule in hell?

Since I'm a good boy, I'll choose heaven. Though ruling in hell... I'm sure it'd being a lot of chicks to the yard.

2. If you had evidence that would catch a killer, but also put you in jail, would you use it?

Ohhhh Lord. I hate these "help society but fuck yourself over" questions. I don't know. Probably yes, though I'd get raped regularly in prison, let's face it. :( Tough question.

3. If you could work the worst job you have ever had, for three years and then never have to work again, would you or would you rather work the job you always wanted but not be able to retire until well past the age of retirement?

Yeah, I'd rather work the job I love. I mean, working for only three years would be great, but unfortunately I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth - I need to make actual money. And I bore really easily - soooo working sounds great.

4. If you could write four newspaper headlines, which would come true, what would they be?

"Scientists discover the cure to cancer"
"Poverty is officially ended the world over"
"Global warming is now being reversed"
"Joel wins his 5th Oscar!"

5. A video of children in Florida fighting, while adults cheer on, was posted on the popular web site MySpace. The popularity of "gang videos" has also increased, and there has been renewed interest in re-creating the infamous "Faces of Death" video series, do you feel there should be laws limiting extreme videos?

Do you feel your questions are random as hell? I vote yes.
Do I also feel I have no idea what you're talking about, and have never heard of these videos before in my life? Yes.
Am I going to answer? Um, no.

///

ok! hope you enjoyed. I should do actual work ... since I'm skipping class tonight... oops!
Joel

goodbye reading week, hello reality

I like where we are,

When we drive, in your car

I like where we are.... Here

Cause our lips, can touch

And our cheeks, can brush

Our lips can touch here

Well, you are the one, the one that lies close to me

Whispers "Hello, I miss you quite terribly"

I fell in love, in love with you suddenly

Now there's no place else I could be but here... in your arms

Source: hellogoodbye, "Here (In Your Arms)"

myspace.com/hellogoodbye

music video for "Here"

Related video:

Mylo, "In My Arms"

hey. so, reading week is officially over. I just watched the Oscars, my favorite was the musical number featuring Will Farrell, Jack Black, and ... that other guy. oops. oh, and the fact that nicole kidman and reese witherspoon were HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT. like, holla.

my reading week, if you'd care to know, was lovely. went out to movies, dinners, worked 21 hours, and went to Burlington this past weekend. ash and I visited Crawford Lake, featuring some pretty gorgeous scenery - not to mention just getting the hell out of Toronto in the first place.

pics? sure. check my facebook.

but an obligatory shout-out to the Janes is in order. they were once again phenomeonal hosts, and it was mary-anne's (ash's mom) birthday over the weekend! no, I will not disclose her age, nor will I disclose a certain problem that affected her over the weekend, BUT I will say that I hope she feels much better soon. and that she will be fine, don't worry.

um, right. so, let's just say something came up with B&M Models, to whom I wasn't even signed, and I've signed with Velocci Model Management instead. this is the first time I've ever signed a modeling contract, and I am VERY excited. it also doubles as a talent contract I guess, I get to do television commercial castings too... I think. that would tie in fabulously with my program, no? anyway. so that's really exciting, they're a great agency, I hope everything will work out well.

I don't care about school this semester, at all. like, I put the effort in (kind of,) but I truly, truly don't care. though it's no excuse, I'm 19 years old. like... come on now. I care more about going to the gym, partying, exploring, learning (useful) things - but right now, not really school. I mean, I don't hate Ryerson, nor do I dislike my program. it's just ... this semester, all of my classes are irrelevant. nothing really sparks my passion - comedic television is the one that comes closest, but even then it's wishy-washy. whooooooooooo cares! I feel like every semester is a countdown to the end.

also, on that note = living arrangements for next year = who knows, who cares. next!

lately I'm obsessed with this new... anti-DJ, Calvin Harris. his first hit, "Acceptable in the 80's," is just phenomeonal. the video I kind of don't get... maybe because I was born in 87, and don't exactly remember much of the 80's, but I can get a good sound. and trust me, this is it.

(music video and three other songs available on myspace page.)

on the note of music, (har har,) these are radio stations I listen to all the time, available online.

Capital Radio (UK postal code required.)

Mix 99.9

Z103.5

good times. I'm auditioning for the 2007 TARA Awards this wednesday. wish me luck.

annnd finally, if you enjoyed movies like "Scary Movie," "Scary Movie 2," "Sc-" well, you get the idea, you'll LOVE "Norbit." check out a hilarious clip right here. oh, my God. hilarious.

carpe diem ... always!

joel

trouble in paradise

so, today marks the beginning of Ryerson's reading week. oh, holla. I am doing nothing, and going nowhere. BUT I will make it fun. just like last year. where's Vicky Tam when you need her?

anyway, before I forget - my "Wow" is online. just... check this out. whatever it means.

so, referring to the nickname. trouble in paradise; not that my life is paradise, it's just a saying. right, so for the second year I didn't get the Ryerson fashion show, Mass Exodus, which is fine. they just didn't like my walk, something I can work on.

um, I have to go now. I'll write later.

HAPPY READING WEEK
joel

happy valentine's day

just because I love you, I'm posting a link to this really cool video.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=hlhPfFnstR4

k, cool. I think you'll like it.

other than that, I love you all, stay fresh and stay true to yourselves.

and remember, singles : no bitterness allowed!

joel

Godiva chocolates rule my life

MOD Club last night - thinking downstairs

sweetest weekend ever, homies. let me fill you in. I'm listening to Oasis, "Wonderwall," by the way, in light of my recent visit to the MOD Club.

[jeudi.]

worked at the Cromb from 12-5, that was pretty foolishly busy; ran from work to a casting for Mass Exodus, which I hope went well. I went solo, not through my "agency," (explanation to follow,) and though I didn't get it last year, I am optimistic. mainly because I know 3 people who are organizing, and apparently they all like me. (especially Jenny P. of Hong Kong, we are tight like M.J.'s nose.); ran from the casting, picked up some lasagna and stuffed myself as I was starving, and ran to class, T.V. Management and Regulation. we had a pop quiz, which was followed by a hilarious British educational video about how to teach people, mainly in a managerial context.; I went to the gym for an hour; went to Einstein's on College, right on the U-of-T campus. (much like what the Ram in the Rye is to Ryerson.) it was pretty sweet.

[vendredi.]

English, "Children's Fiction" from 10-1.; met with my Comedic Television Production group to write the 2nd act of our production, "The Affiliate." pretty damn hilarious, I must say. I looove writing! and my group rules.; went for dinner with Jen Bradley at Oakham, it was so nice.; went to Stevie and Sarah's party at the Jazz building on Church & Shuter. I was only there until 9:30.; went to my friend Jennifer Peikert's condo on 33 Harbourfront Square. absolutely gorgeous - both the girls and the condo. Rena was there as well, so we "watched a movie." (we totally just ended up chilling the night away. it was phenomeonal.) Jenny's views... the C.N. tower directly outside her bedroom, and a vista view of Lake Ontario from her living room. yes, phenomeonal is right. I had the best time! and then I walked home.

[samedi.]

woke up early, got to Ash's at 11:15 or so. Ash got scouted by an agency, Moro Models & Talent Management Inc. we walked around forever trying to find it - next time I am totally taking charge of directions. she's super-smart in everything but directions. after having lunch, we stopped in, she was in there for like an hour! but yeah, so I was waiting in the lobby, and the agency owner came out, and asked me if I wanted to model for him. flattering, but I already have an "agency." it was cute - and of course they wanted Ash, but I'm taking her on another open call before she makes any decisions.; worked from 3-9 at the Cromb; rushed off to the MOD Club. it was BLOODY PHENOMEONAL! enjoy some pics, won't you?

Drunken times at the pre-drink and at the MOD Club.

[dimanche.]

hit up the gym this morning - and cleaned up my apartment, so proud of myself. had another meeting for 'The Affiliate.' having dinner with ash, possibly watching the Grammys. hardcore ab workout tonight - ahaha.

[les autres affaires.]

right, my bitterness about B&M. very slight - but while I was at Moro yesterday, the agent guy was like "look! you could be at this casting right now! why have you not signed anything with B&M? why are you not making money? did you pay for your pictures?" and I didn't really know what to answer. and I've been waiting almost two weeks for my portfolio - I'm only in Toronto 8 months out of the year, mothas! time is precious. but hopefully everything's cool. I have to be patient - I may just end up like this guy. (knock on wood!)

in light of Valentine's Day, my love life is once again non-existant... for now.

I'm completely avoiding doing work at the moment. and therefore, time to do my (late) friday five!!!

[le debut.]

1. If you were a crayon, which color would you want to be?

Burnt orange, my fave color.

2. Which color do you think you would be regardless of what you wanted?

I would probably be a forest green. I love nature, I'm manly as hell, and very nice. (I don't know?! haha)

3. Would you rather be used and get blunt, broken and lose your wrapper, or not be used and stay pristine?

I see a parallel with this question and virginity. I'd be pristine.

4. Would you rather be in a small set of crayons or a large set?

Good question! I'd like to be in a large set, I don't want to get lonely!

5. Would you rather be Crayola, or a different brand?

The quality of crayon matters much more than the brand.

[la fin.]

Thanks for reading!

Comment anytime, or write me.

Joel

hang in there!

lame title, so sorry.

I say this because I'm in the middle of winter, and it's hard to... feel motivated sometimes.

today, Monday, February 5th, 2007, was foolishhh.
-stayed up late the night before working on my surprise essay for existentialism.
-woke up at 10 to go to the gym.
-came back, showered, got dressed, of course. (this is, surprisingly, a daily activity of mine.)
-ran to the library to print off my essay.
-ran into Existentialism class... late.
-ran to my Comedic Television Production class. helped write the script until 5.
-went out to dinner with Amanda at Oakham.
-chilled in my room with her until 9:30.
-went to ash's, and watched an episode of "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" ... "The Pinball Wizard" to be exact.
-went to Mick E. Fynn's for Carling's birthday, had a Moosehead. go Saint John.
-went to Fran's after with my beloved ashley, had onion rings and nachos. I currently feel disgusting.

annnd right you are. I'll write my friday five, then I am going to BED. shit son!!!

el cinco de viernes

1. How far back can you trace your family tree?

I've never had to do such a project, I really have no idea. Without having done any research, I can find out about my great-great grandparents at the moment.

2. What is the most interesting (or strange) thing you've heard about one of your relatives?

My uncle Yvon was in the NHL, that was pretty big. My mom and her friend kind of prevented a plane crash in the 1970's. My granddad served in the Second World War. My uncle Eddie works for the World Bank in Afghanistan. So on and so on!

3. How do you feel about legacy names like John Henry Smith IV or naming children after other relatives?

Um, I don't care? Nor do I know what you're talking about. Tards.

4. Would you consider yourself and/or your family to be traditional?

I'd hardly consider myself to be traditional. I mean, I don't wear underwear on my head, i.e. am not a crazy muthafucka, but nor do I have the family sit down for Sunday ham every week. Know what I mean, fools?

5. What is one tradition you have passed on to your children and/or plan to pass on to them?

I want to pass onto them the lesson of kindness and courtesy. And my beloved Frenchness, of course - and hopefully some good genes. I'm marrying a supermodel, and we'll have super-hot model kids. Holla!

el fin del cinco de viernes.

it's late, good night homes. I will keep you updated on my life as new things happen!
joel

newsflash of the day.

so, I fucking despiseeeeeeeeeeeeeee work right now. i.e., Abercrombie & Fitch. not that it's a bad place to work - 5-10 hours a week is fine - but I've already worked 15 hours this week. and I'm working 6 more tomorrow. oh, God.

as glamorous as this modelling may sound, B&M is not paying for my pictures. and I really, really, really want this, and so I am paying the fuckloads of money necessary for this to happen. what exactly, you ask? weeeeeeeeell...

For the photoshoot - $400. Paid.
For the portfolio itself - i.e., blowing up the pictures to a large size - $40 each. If the agency likes 10 pictures, that means $400 more dollars. Unpaid.
Comp cards. $1 each - depending on how many I get. A usual amount is 100, and therefore $100. Unpaid.

"Sham!" you scream. "Tyra said you shouldn't pay no nothin'!" Well, fair enough. But you see, when Tyra Banks said the famous phrase, "You shouldn't have to pay an agency, they should pay for you," she was generally referring to female models... Who are like, 5"10 and perfect.

And I thought about saying "No" to B&M if they didn't offer to pay for me when I asked - which they didn't. They refused, very rudely. I believe the response was "Joel, if you can find an agency that will pay for you, I suggest you go to that agency."

However, the entire second half of this past semester was simply agency searching. And really, B&M is just the best. Honestly, their models get so much work, they are so well-respected, and they have very strong ties in the international and T.V. markets. like, shit son- and that is perfect for me!!! going oversears to model??? maybe! and Radio and Telvision arts - then I branch into acting - ta-daaa!!! that'd be GREAT. so, that's my logic.

and so, alas why I'm spending this money on it, and alas why I'm working so hard in school and at work. it's like starting my own business/making an investment - and knock on wood, I'm hoping it will pay off tenfold.

sorry, I needed to get that out of my system. technically, it's friday, and yeah. I'm getting crunk, my friend Saphia is turning 20 today, and she is having a massive V.I.P. party at Mink (yes, where I had my birthday,) and it's going to be RIDONCULOUS. and I hope I can de-stress.

yours
joel