and so I stood there in the cold, just waiting for you

• 
  
  

Woo, party of pictures, just for you. In this exclusive party of pictures you'll find Toronto City Hall (the largest picture,) pictures of myself, Dan Scott, and the lovely Ashley Jane, ice sculptures found in the "Ice Lounge" at Nathan Phillips Square, and images of skaters having a charming Saturday evening in downtown Toronto. Grand times.

So it's Sunday morning, and I've totally stopped reading my novel, Achebe's "Things Fall Apart." Apparantly this title also refers to the book itself as well, because it's definately missing some pages. Ew, schoolwork, how I hate you more and more.

Friday night was a drunken affair, but lots of fun. It's funny how many random twists and turns and random encounters made it to be a very thrilling night indeed. Such as discovering the party on floor six because of Heather, or running into Brock and Carling after they'd just finished... "Having a group discussion." It was a good night, but it nontheless still indicated I need to get a fake ID desperately, as I truly want to go out clubbing. So very, very badly.

Yesterday afternoon was highly charming, however. Ash and I went to Allan Gardens, relaxed, read, and took some amazing pictures. Afterwards we made a visit to H&M, where I purchased my sexy, sexy dogtags. Oh, H&M, I love you. And then I helped Ash pick out some jewellery, rather fancy pants I must say.

We also made a visit to Hollister, the newest clothing retail store to hit the Eaton centre. The entire place looks like the set of the O.C. with no electricity and overpriced American Eagle generic clothing. But... I don't know, it obviously had its pre-teen charm, I suppose. And the live view of "Surf City" is quite charming, though somewhat... A huge marketing scheme. Oh, well.

Allright, I'm totally avoiding my work, so I'm getting down to it. Thanks for reading.

Yours,

Joel

emo no more!

Caption: Ben and I enjoy a lovely moment during my trip home during the weekend of November 11, 2005.

Just thought I'd post this happy happy picture to let you all know I'm feeling much better, and that I've yet to hear anything from the modelling agency, but I'm quite the happy boy all the same.

Now, it's time to drink and forget my worries! But first, a very brief list of what's to come in the next week or so:

-Skating @ Nathan Phillips' Square and coffee with Ash;

-Finding out if the agency wants me or not;

-Getting a fake I.D.;

-Getting one week closer to FINISHING EFP CLASS! PRAISE JESUS!

-Joy and happiness.

the end, <3!>oh, and mike... happy 19th birthday tomorrow, buddy. drink until you can't anymore, baby. that's right.

peace out,

joel

there are some days I just can't do it.

today's one of those days.

I'm overworked. I'm dreading Valentine's Day. things ... augh, never mind.

sometimes, we're kind of too emo to function.

you can't even know.

yours,

Joel

whoreportunity!!

Caption: Oh, my God. Myself with the best VJ ever, Ms. Hannah Sung. She's just so, so, so, effing cool. Taken at MuchVote 2006, Monday, January 23, 2006. Photo taken by Ashley Poitevin.

So, needless to say last night was astonishingly amazing. A great contrast to Sunday, for sure!

Yesterday I had my SpiritLive.net show from 12-1 (tune in every Monday, 12-1 Eastern Time!) As usual, that was quite the blast. Then came Broadcast Dread - sorry, Broadcast History from 1-4, augh, awful. And then VoicePrint Canada (in which I've been promoted to managing supervisor!) for another hour after that.

Then came Much! I met with Ashley and her roommate Jill at Sam the Record Man, and we walked to the Second Cup right across from the Much Studios, where Hilary Duff had just visited.

When we finally got onto the floor, the excitement began! I was asked in the very first 10 minutes about voter apathy by Hannah Sung. She seemed to enjoy my answer, so SWEET DEAL! Not to mention she remembered me from orientation week - dear God, it was just amazing.

Did I mention I whored it up in every shot possible? Alas the title, I would yell "it's a whoreportunity!" to Ashley and Jill whenever I saw an open possibility. Oh man, and I saw Ed the Sock! Except... Well anyway, I won't ruin the magic for you.

Today was less glamorous... Class from 9-11, then 11-1. I then had a 20 minute break for lunch, after which I was in a Bill Studio with my cheerful group for another two hours. We had an amazing final product, but it was strenuous, to say the least.

I was very proud of myself this evening after visiting the Ram! I stopped eating when I was full, how magnificent! I'll be a prime model in no time if I keep that up, combined with my regular visits to the gym.

Anyway, I'm going to actually read some required material for Culture of the Modern, being the keener I am. I'm also going to study for my quiz on Thursday, not to mention my Spanish Exam this Thursday as well! Oh, and did I forget to mention my modelling consultation's on Thursday as well? Oh, my dear God. Wow. Thursday's going to be quite the day to remember.

I'm out, dawgs. Leave me a sweet something, I'd love to hear from you.

Yours on floor nine,

Joel

my temporary church replacement is homework

So, I'm skipping church this morning, though this is the second Sunday in a row I told Leah (Vice-Prez on Floor Six) I'd be going with her, and then pulling out. I feel awful.

However, I did just finish my Media Writing project (on which I worked like a slave yesterday, ALL DAY,) so that makes me feel somewhat good about myself. Hooray.

As for my weekend thus far, it's been amazing as usual. Friday night Vicky and I drank our faces off and headed out to the Annex (SJ'ers: Artsy and lovely part of TO,) for a party - the party of Dan DeMaria, a friend and fellow RTAer, who turned 19 on Friday! I strongly reccomend you click right here to visit his MySpace, listen to his songs, "A Walk" is definately personally my favorite. He really is rocking, to the max.

At this party were several other RTAers, including Ashley Poitevin, with whom I'll be attending MuchVotes 2006 tomorrow night, she's totally getting me into the indie scene! In fact, I believe if I don't attend the next "Cuff The Duke" concert with her, she'll throw a javelin in my eye. Oh, and yes, she has a MySpace too.

anyway! after a while I started to feel sick because someone was smoking in the basement, so Vicky and I split like bananas. (what's that, you say? bad joke? I think you're right.) we stopped by the ILLC for a half-hour of drunken fun, and then finally came back home. except, not really home, but you know what I mean.

Saturday proved to be an equally exciting day. I began the day with my specialised hour-and-a-half RAC workout, which was fantaaastic. I felt amazing. I'm actually starting to feel a difference, I feel vaguely muscular now!

My afternoon consisted of having a smallllllll lunch, working like a slave on my Media Writing proj, annnnd taking occasional breaks. Almost everyone's gone this weekend - damn Ontario people living in res. Oh, well! I effing kicked that project's ASS.

I went out to dinner with my usual Ram posse at 6, it was great for everyone to be together again. We discussed the music choices as usual, and talked about everything, including the revered Ryerson "gay elite." I suppose you have to go to Ryerson to understand that topic a bit farther. But as usual, a very entertaining time!

Afterwards came time to KAREOKE! I waited in the lobby for my dear Caitlin and her friend, Laura. (QuickCheck: Caitlin and I met last week through my floor eight homie, Hailey McCron. We decided to hang, because we called ourselves the Scully/Mulder team, and we're... totally cool. She looks like Cameron Diaz! ...She's going to hate me for saying that, but it's true. <3)

Once they arrived, I gave them an all-inclusive tour of my room and my floor. They were quite impressed, it was easy to tell. Afterwards we visited the charming apartment of a certain Brock Groombridge. so much fun to see everyone intoxicated! though all (and I mean all) of Brock's neighbours frighten me very much.

Oh, and fun info of the day for my SJ homedawgs, Brock made it all the way to the top 32 of Season Two of Canadian Idol. And yes, he's in the new Robitussin commercial, he's the guy who coughs at the wedding.

Just goes to show all of the thrilling people I'm meeting here in the T-Dot, it's just amazing! So then we all walked to Pogue Mahone, an Irish pub. Super-fun times or WHAT! I'll have to explain why it was so great in point-form.

-Caitlin was there!
-Everyone in RTA was there, so fantastic to see them.
-Everyone looked really HOT.
-I almost lost my digital camera, but then I realized I was a retard and left it on this random back-table, which gave me an effing heart attack.
-I met loads of people!
-I got to sing in front of everyone!
-I got to see my homedawgs singing as well!
-I felt like I was on Coronation Street.
-Laura, Caitlin's friend, does the best Debbie Downer impression EVER. Oh my GOD.

So, it was totally an amazing time. And I'd elaborate further, but I really don't want to.

Today's going to be a day to finish EVERYTHING. I don't want to start my third week with a fackload of things to worry about.

Before I go, please visit RooTV.com and do the following things for me. (For amazing entertainment, I promise.)

-On the top menu bar, click on "Music." Once you do so, you'll see a sub-menu, please select "Dance."

-From there, scroll down the list, (keep in mind there's list #1 and list #2.)

-Listen/watch the following videos! I'll put my personal comments in [brackets.]

-Keep in mind every video includes a 5-second intro from various musical artists, such as Tristan Prettyman, INXS, or The Presidents of the United States of America.

List #1

Royksopp - What Else Is There? [ROYKSOPP RULES MY LIFE!]
Reflekt ft. Decline Bass - Need To Feel Loved [Very touching, beautiful song]
Uniting Nations - You and Me [HOTTT]
Paris Avenue - I Want You [How to be a huge whore 101]
Basement Jaxx - Oh My Gosh
Audio Bullies - Shot You Down [BEST REMIX EFFING EVER]

List #2

Mylo - In My Arms [Fantastic Mix]
Michael Gray - Weekend [HOTTEST. VIDEO. EVER. OH MAN! A MUST-SEE.]
Sunset Strippers - Falling Stars

OKKK, that took longer than expected. Time to shower/work! Byeee. <3.

Yours in TO,

Joel

We'll Never Die

Time for an artsy song!

The following is a song I wrote over the break, and it'll be one of my multi-platinum smash hits someday. It's called "We'll Never Die," and it represents the feelings of immortality one feels in his or her youth.

///

(Verse #1)

Gonna have to tell you the truth,

I've always wondered about you

If you'll say you doubt me, say it last

I can see the clock's ticking so fast

'Cause if you doubt me, it means I am alone

And I can't and I won't go back home

So if you trust me, please tell me now

We can be happy forever, I'll show you how

(Bridge)

The sky and the water are so damn blue

The sun is shining the same color as you

I cover my ears as the trees start to scream

Just take my hand, yeah soon we'll be free

(Chorus)

I'll take you down to the river, look into your eyes

She said, "I'll tell you a secret, won't tell you no lies"

I sat on the grass, she stood up so high

And screamed...

"We'll never die, we'll stay young forever,

We'll never die, You can never... Take it away"

(Verse #2)

Yeah, the newspaper's full of obituaries every day

But it's allright, we'll never read them anyway

Nail down the calendars, smash every clock that you see

If not everyone else, then just you and me

Age is simply a number, something you can ignore

And I don't really know, but I'm pretty sure

That we can stay here forever, never have to go

And for all the other people, they'll never have to know

(Bridge, followed by Chorus)

(Bridge, followed by Chorus x2)

///

Composed by Joel Vautour. Copyright 2006.

///

Hope you enjoyed this little production. I'll write more about everything else later, I want these words to speak for themselves.

Yours,

Joel

the art of procrastination on a thursday afternoon

Image: A pretty home on the West Side of Saint John photographed on December 23, 2005.

hey, my sexy readers.

it's thursday afternoon. and you know what that means!

it means Joel's not doing his work as he should! but only briefly. I'm just going to give you a quick rundown of this week's happenings, as well as thrilling things to come. VERY thrilling things to come, as a matter of fact.

k, so this week hasn't been nearly as good as last week. for example, yesterday morning I was supposed to wake up @ 7:15AM to go to the gym, but since I only had my tiny watch alarm clock, I didn't wake up.

fortunately, I now have my alarm clock, thank God.

Monday and Tuesday were both very grey and rainy days, which normally doesn't encourage much positivity. also, the semester's not yet into full swing, so I find myself with a lot of free time with just "readings" to do. psh, "readings."

however, as you're probably very well aware, Joel Vautour's an optimist 'til the very end. so, in face of the past few not-so-great days, I know that means much better days are yet to come!

and this brings in my "future events" calendar. here's what I have to look forward to in the coming days and weeks:

This weekend! A potential house party, dinner at Sushi Time on Saturday, and total relaxation! I'm almost done my second week... Unreal. To the max.

MuchVotes 2006! Yes, MuchVotes 2006 on Monday the 23rd, where I'll appear in the audience! Once again, when I find out what time I'll be on, I'll be sure to let you all know.

Modelling Consultation! Yes, it's official, a week from right now (3PM on the 26th,) I have a consultation with Stylus Models Canada. Holy, holy, holy crap.

Not to mention everyone in my family seems to be doing relatively well, and my homesickness isn't nearly as bad as it was during the first semester. So, you know what? Life's grand. Perhaps not always a picnic in the park with Mish, but at least it's grand.

Live on, kids, live on.

Joel.

fun on a monday evening.

yes, these are my new sunglasses, in case you were wondering. they excite me to no end.

though I'm going to the gym three times a week, I still feel really really gross right now. I went to the Ram tonight with my floor eight dawgs, I had lattice fries and two jalepeno peppers on top of my veggie nachos.

sick.

I really need to find a strict reason for me to never eat such crap again. I know you're probably thinking something retarded like "oh, he's so skinny," but skinny people die of heart attacks too, and I'd rather be extremely healthy and live forever, thanks.



so this past weekend was a smashing success. the photoshoot, the partying Friday night, St. Lawrence Market and a movie on Saturday, relaxation and brunch on Sunday.

today was a little less thrilling, but that's life. I'm appreciative of the good days I had.

I re-started the amazing show The Ryerson Buffet today with my co-stars Jaclyn and Jenee. Kye was off doing something for basketball, but it was simply a smashing debut. it runs every Monday from 12-1, [Eastern Time.]

e-mail us or give us a call [(416) 979-9936] if you wish, we'd love to hear from you!

Broadcast History followed up this charming event, along with the spellbinding story of Edwin Howard Armstrong, the unsung hero of radio. the man invented FM radio! but his story... it's so sad. I strongly reccomend you check out his compelling story.

the second phase of my portfolio photoshoot comes this Wednesday at 10AM, I'm very much excited. oh, Flora, what would I do without you?

oh, and this coming Monday, you can catch me on MuchVotes 2006, on the one and only MuchMusic. (I'll be in the audience, that is.) I don't yet know at what exact time this will be happening, but I'll be sure to let you know. chances are I'll be saying something.

k, I have to go slash away all the crap in my Ryerson Mail account, so wish me luck, I'm thinking of you. just because I'm in Toronto doesn't mean you're suddenly out of my mind.

yours,

(really I am,)

joel

the friday five and perhaps a bit more.

so, it's 1:39 in the morning, and I had the urge to do my usually late Friday Five.

if you must know, today was magical. I attempted to vote, but that didn't work out. fuck that. also, I purchased some extremely sexy sunglasses, got hit on by an overweight middle-eastern man, had an amazing Caramel Crepe at St. Lawrence Market, saw "Ever After," and had my beloved three-dip platter over at the Ram.

not to mention Thursday and Friday, which were both fabulous days. oh man, I'm fortunate.

but now - the Friday Five I know you've all been waiting for.

1. What is the most adventurous food you've ever tried?

ummm, wow. quite a few. I remember once on my Grade 8 trip to Quebec we tried "Pig's Ears," (Oreilles de cochon,) which were actually bacon and lard... oh, NEVER again. sick.

or maybe in France when I tried "Perles de la mer," which was just really weird pasta and seafood and whatever. OR perhaps thai food for the first time? or Cockles, from Ireland? right.

2. What is the most adventurous food you'd be willing to try?

um, well since I have a hard time accepting the fact that I eat meat in the first place, very likely NOT something meat-related. if anything, perhaps a totally foreign alcohol, other beverage, CHEESE, BREAD, or especially even vegetable or fruit! yummm.




3. Would you have a problem eating dog meat and why or why not?

holy eff, no effing way! forget it.

"what is it, Lassie? is there a boy caught in the well?"

"woof, woof woof!"

"you want us to consume you for dinner?"

"woof"

"yes, I shall season you with savory and oregano, don't you worry!"

...once again, the answer is no.

4. For the most part, do you consider your diet to be balanced?

I must say, 95% of the time Hal Johnson and Joanne McCloud of BodyBreak AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' ON ME, BROTHAZ & SISTAZ!

...So yes, quite balanced indeed.

5. Which is more appealing- being a vegetarian for the rest of your life or being a strict carnivore for the rest of your life?

k, well if you've read any of my previous answers, I think it's kind of clear what the answer to this one might be. hmm... think hard!

hint: it starts with a 'v!'

anyway! right you are, I'm off to bed, I've tried so many times to upload the pics from my photoshoot but it's not working, so your imaginations (or MSN transfers!) will have to suffice.

yours (almost) forever,

joelll.

top o' the evening to you.

good evening, friends!

joel here, giving you a cool dude "photo" greeting.

in other words, I'm just experimenting with the magic of Blogger.

I must say, today was an incredible day! and tomorrow's going to be just as great, for sure!

here's what was good about today:

-I had Spanish, it was fantastic. My teacher's like... Off of Sesame Street, she's sooo nice! "Hola, amigos!" Sweeeeeet.

-I then came back into my room, only to discover I'd been sent an e-mail by Stylus Canada, they want me to come in for a consultation after seeing my pictures! I was so excited!

-After this exciting episode, I went off to English class. "Four of you plagerized your essays," said my professor. "This means you'll be kicked out of university." As unsettling as that was, everyone held their breath and waited as the essays were distributed in alphabetical order. Of course, Vautour was like the last one, so I practically peed my pants. Fortunately, not only did I get it back, but I got a fairly decent mark on it! (And no, I would never intentionally plagerize, but sometimes it's hard to know what exactly Ryerson defines as "plagerizm." If that's even spelled correctly.

-This evening I went to Espresso Rose, a v. chic cafe on Yonge with Ash. it was sooooooo nice. the chairs... oh man, I could just sleep in those chairs. not to mention the caramel ... mochalietto I had! whatever the fuck that is.

and here's why tomorrow's going to be the bomb:

-lunch @ the Hub [most decent caf on campus] w/ Ash;

-portfolio photoshoot @ 3:30 w/ Flora;

-DRUNKEN TIMES!

Need I say more???

I mean, yesss, some things aren't nearly as peachy right now, such as the fact I've yet to finish my Spanish exam from last semester and my teacher seems to have died over the Christmas break, annnd that I'm currently applying to be either a senior student or R.A. on res next year, or even the fact that EFP's going to suck and I'm already overwhelmed with my workload, but HEY!

Joel Arthur Yvon Vautour is an optimist, yo. And if I made it through the first semester, I can make it through anything.

Got that, fuckaz? Good. I'm going to bed.

I hope you enjoyed the pics as much as I did, lol.

peeeeaccceee,

joel.

just to be brief!

right, so I haven't much time, nor do I have the patience to write much, so the following's going to be in point form :

-I'm extremely excited for this Friday.

-My classes thus far have sucked hardcore.

-I've spent way too much money on books.

-I love my laptop so much!

-I'm going to the RAC (Ryerson Gym) every Wednesday, Saturday, and Monday morning.

-I feel absolutely wretched right now, I need to work out so badly.

-I need to read as well, I'm wasting my time on this laptop of mine.

that last comment has prompted me to leave and do something good with myself.

the following update is complete.

the intense joys of owning a laptop.

wow, so I'm effing exhausted, and I'm not going to write much.

well, my travelling here positively sucked. I was exhausted. the day of my arrival, I bought $37 worth of shit down at the drugstore in College Park, and I talked with people. there were definately joyful reunions, but I was tired as fuck, and that just makes everything ... well, not nearly as grand as it should be.

today was a much, much better day. I awoke from my 10-hour slumber feeling amazing, and I'm almost finished "White Noise" by Don DeLillo, a novel I've been working on since early December. man, I'm a slow reader when I want to be.

after having a grand lunch at the ILLC with Ashley, (my floor nine Ashley that is,) and we decided to go on an afternoon adventure. after purchasing my Ethernet cord at Future Shop, we stopped by the beautiful memorial in front of the Foot Locker on Yonge Street dedicated to Jane Creba, the 15-year-old who was shot and killed while shopping with her mom on Boxing Day at 5:15 in the afternoon.

while we were reading the poems written for the poor girl when a reporter approached us and asked me questions pertaining to gun violence in Toronto. I answered as best I could given the complexity of his questions, and this evening it was featured on the National CTV News! not even a full day back in the T-Dot and they're already begging me to be on the airwaves.

however, let it be known I shouldn't have been on television in the first place, as that girl shouldn't have died. it's all so needless and tragic. fuck you, murderers.

right, after this we walked past the Atrium-On-Bay, where we saw a man being arrested. pretty creepy, not to mention random as hell.

as we walked through the Eaton Centre, we decided to walk over and check out The Bay. when I have actual money, I'm so going to shop there. well, maybe I'll opt for D&G orrrrr maybe Armani, but I'm sure I'll at least browse there. it really is hella nice!

annnyway, to make a long story short, we walked by Nathan Phillips Square to see the happy skaters, had a peek into the MuchMusic Studios, then had a nice coffee accross the street. and thennnnnnnnnn we walked back to res, I hooked up my Internet.

this evening was a nice little get-together with my homedawgs at the ILLC, with a little bit o' drinking involved! I am, however, sobered up by now, as it's 1:30 in the morning. and then I returned to Ashley's room once again (after seeing Allison and Victoria) and listened to Brock's interesting Canadian Idol tales and hear all about Keaton's heroic plans.

oh, I love residence. I truly do.

rightttt you are, so I have my first class tomorrow at 1PM, annnd I also have to wait in line to pay my effing phone bill. however, I expect my phone bill to be much less expensive now that I've made friends with good ol' Internet, the new love of my life. oh, man.

fack, I'm exhausted. I should go finish my book and get to bed.

I've decided to make my work-out mornings Saturday, Monday, and Wednesday. not bad, eh?

k, right, I'm exhausted. good night, kids! thanks for reading, once again.

and to sally, aka "hidden_tears," thanks so much for commenting on my writing, I'm really glad you enjoy. I write for people like you.

frommm the comfort of my own room,

joel !

whaaat a shitty feeling this is.

I woke up at 4:30 [Atlantic Time] this morning in order to get to the airport.

My flight left at 6:35AM.

I arrived in Montréal at 7:30 - Eastern Time - which means two hours on the plane.

I then transferred from Montréal to Toronto, and the plane was 45 minutes late. And that flight took another hour, so another two hours on a plane.

After four hours of this joyous travelling, I discovered my shitty luggage had a broken strap, which means I had to practically drag it onto the TTC bus.

Once on the Subway, I got many awkward looks for taking up all the seats with my luggage.

I had to drag the luggage here by myself. My shoulders are burning right now, and I have red marks still on my hands.

I've eaten so much today I can barely keep track of it.

I can't connect my laptop to the Internet for the life of me, it pisses me off just so much.

I'm so exhausted right now. As of now, I've been awake for 16 hours. I'm going to go to bed very soon. As in, now. Fuck the world.

I'm in such a bad mood.

In Toronto again,

Joel

emooo night

au revoir, Saint-Jean, au revoir.

so, after 3 full days of harassing (and being harassed by) kids at the Y, I've packed my bags (very lightly, in accordance with Air Canada's cheap-ass weight restrictions, no luggage over 50 lbs) and am (kind of) ready to go.

enough (brackets) for you?

yes, well I haven't much time actually, since I must arise at 4:15 tomorrow morning to catch my flight to Montréal (and then connecting to Toronto later on.) and packing this evening was a nightmare - truly - a nightmare. family fights galore.

but thank God I've finished with the YMCA job, that was depleating me. oh, wait, what's that? i'm already physically and emotionally exhausted?? why, you're right! how grand.

oh, man. not to mention I've never had to connect to another flight before, but once I get off the plane at Pearson and have to take TTC Bus/Subway back to Dundas Station, my back is going to be BROKEN. not to mention how awkward it is when you have to put your own luggage on another seat to prevent you from shooting yourself from pain and physical strain and people give you death-ray looks! oh, and the fact I'm going to be walking back along innocent-15-year-old-girl-who-got-shot-in-the-head-in-the-middle-of-the-day street doesn't exactly make things reassuring.

right! ok! I'm off to bed, I have no clue when I'll update next, but likely before my dreaded classes begin on the 9th. leave some love if you wish, I'll be sleeping unrestfully.

yours here for tonight,
joel.

worst. day. ever.

oooooooooooooooooh man.

I am not lying when I say, "I'd much rather be a prostitute than a camp counsellor in the summer of 2006!" really, I'm not.

I had this vague mentality before commencing work today, but I hadn't a clue that it would be such a strong feeling. thank fuck I'm leaving for Toronto this Saturday - I want to be far, far, away from those children. very far.

now, don't get me wrong. I love children just as much as the next stuck-up haughty sarcastic high-maintenance 18-year-old guy, like on television shows, or my own sibling. however, when they're running up to you with such crucial dilemmas as... well, I'm going to have to make a list right about now.

///

examples :

"JOEL! THAT GIRL TOUCHED MY SLEEVE!"
My real-life response: "Allright, (girl's name here)! We keep our hands to ourselves, OK?
What I'm thinking: "You are the hugest pansy on this face of the planet. Watch out for any dust particles that may hit you as you walk down the hallway, that may make you cry as well."

"Joel, I forgot my snack, I ate it all for lunch, I'm sooooo hungry!"
My real-life response: "Well I'm sorry, ________, but we've told you to save something for your afternoon snack during lunch, so there's nothing we can do."
What I'm thinking: "ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF!?!? HOW many times did I say during lunchtime, "SAVE SOMETHING FOR YOUR AFTERNOON SNACK!"? OPEN YOUR EARS, YOU TARD! At least you're not starving in some third-world country... Now go weep over your missing Dunkaroos."

Finally, worst (and most common:)

"Joel, you're so tall! (Proceeds to try and jump on me, clinging at my clothes and stretching them,) give me a piggyback!"
My real-life response: "Well right now I'm busy with (insert fictional activity here,) and that might be dangerous, so why don't you go play (insert dumb game here) instead?"
What I'm thinking: "DON'T TOUCH ME, MY CLOTHES, OR THE AIR AROUND ME, YOU GERM-INFESTED MUCUS MACHINE!!! DO I LOOK LIKE AN AMUSEMENT PARK TO YOU??? DOES MY SHIRT SAY, "2 TICKETS FOR ADMITTANCE"???? NO? THEN SCRAM BEFORE I VOMIT AND SPEW FIRE ONTO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!"

///

yes, quite accurate indeed.

right, so when that's all you deal with for 8 hours of the day, it's pretty ... not fun. I mean, yeah, I had an amazing break, but I did work for two Saturdays as well before Christmas, and this is hella demanding, especially that I'll be working a full day on the day before I leave for Toronto at 6:35 in the morning. dread.

oh, my, I have had my fill of fun over the break however! I can't lie. I mean, I'd even include some links from my former journal, BCJ, but that seems to be down, and perhaps it will be for a while.

augh, right, i've got my rantiness out - but here's a brief rundown of life since the new year's eve party @ JF's.

///

november 3, 87
so yeah, I was like... born today. sweet.

>> fast-forward 18 years

december 31, 05
parrrrrrrty! it was good. there's more I want to say, but I won't! what I can say is that a) JF had quite the lavish event as usual, b) JF's parents were darlings, c) I got hella drunk AND hella crunk! huzzah! d) oh, JF got me a giant disease (TB, to be exact,) and Nicole got me a gift card @ AE!

january 1, 2006
a day of resolution and rest. a day of reflection and of awe that it's 2006 already. 1996 was a decade ago. and I actually remember it.
january 2, 2006
went for a 5-mile run in the morn. went to the mall and bought an AE shirt with Nicole's genius AE gift certificate. drove out to hampton with mish, told my grand stories. picked up kelsey. had a grand time with shandron (who left at like.. midnight... sad times!), meg, alex, kelsey, and mish.
stats: (what we ate)
-baguette with garlic
-2 pepperoni pizzas
-chocolate ice cream
-orange "smoothies"
-chocolate granola bars
-bacon
-macaroons
-other things I'm forgetting?

stats: (what we did)
-watch "Fight Club" and a little bit of "10 Things I Hate About You"
-slide for an hour
-share humorous new year's eve stories
-smell essential oils
-eat like nuts
-read trivia questions
-spoon
-throw sugar all over the kitchen

stats: (was it good?)
-hell yes!


january 3, 2006
recovery from fat kids party, being driven back from hampton by mom. stopping at the mall to return the bentley's laptop bag. chillaxing, doing other things I forget. well, yeah.
january 4, 2006
working like a slave on crack, and hating it.

///

k! enough! i'm off! leave one, leave some love.

yours for now,

joel

oh, wow.

so, if you haven't checked out my year-end compilation for 2005, [previous post,] please do so immediately.

I promise, it's hella tight.

if you've already read this, then feel free to continue.

///

at the moment, I'm typing as quietly as possible in Meghan Robichaud's room, and it's 10:42 in the morning. my mom's scheduled to come pick Kelsey and I up at 11, but Kelsey only wants to wake up 5 minutes before she has to go.

as a matter of fact, mishelle and meghan are sleeping in the bed behind me, alas why I'm trying to type so delicately. let's hope it's not waking them.

oh, my. we had another one of our Fat Kid's parties. I could post the link to our previous fat kid party, but BCJournal seems to have died. oh, well, I love this new blog so much more anyway. it's much more... me.

I hope to God my mom finds me way the fuck out here in Hampton. it's just so hella far. and my mom's the most nervous winter driver ever, let's truly hope she doesn't panic. my directions were about as clear and concise as possible, but you never know... she doesn't exactly appreciate driving out here in the first place.

anyway, needless to say we ate way too much at obscene hours of the night last night. ice cream (homemade!) at 3 in the morning, pizza at 8PM and 2AM, not to mention the baguette and macaroons.

"what!?!," you're probably telling yourself. "has Joel gone off the deep-end? isn't he all... health-concious and body-concious and stuff??? what happened?"

no need to panic! yesterday morning I went for a 5-mile run and had a small lunch - in preparation for the fat kid's party. so, relax. lol.

oooooooook, Ralph the dog is barking like fucking mad, sooooo I'm going to go see what's amiss. mom'll be here in like 10 minutes, and she hates when people are late, so I'm going to wake up Kelsey and off we go back into civilization!

oh, and I'm leaving for Toronto this Saturday. my plane leaves at 6:35AM... gross.

oh, and I have to work tomorrow, Thursday, and Friday, from 9:30AM-5:30PM.

which one of those two statements is grosser? I don't even know.

yours in the boonies,

joel.