worst. day. ever.

oooooooooooooooooh man.

I am not lying when I say, "I'd much rather be a prostitute than a camp counsellor in the summer of 2006!" really, I'm not.

I had this vague mentality before commencing work today, but I hadn't a clue that it would be such a strong feeling. thank fuck I'm leaving for Toronto this Saturday - I want to be far, far, away from those children. very far.

now, don't get me wrong. I love children just as much as the next stuck-up haughty sarcastic high-maintenance 18-year-old guy, like on television shows, or my own sibling. however, when they're running up to you with such crucial dilemmas as... well, I'm going to have to make a list right about now.

///

examples :

"JOEL! THAT GIRL TOUCHED MY SLEEVE!"
My real-life response: "Allright, (girl's name here)! We keep our hands to ourselves, OK?
What I'm thinking: "You are the hugest pansy on this face of the planet. Watch out for any dust particles that may hit you as you walk down the hallway, that may make you cry as well."

"Joel, I forgot my snack, I ate it all for lunch, I'm sooooo hungry!"
My real-life response: "Well I'm sorry, ________, but we've told you to save something for your afternoon snack during lunch, so there's nothing we can do."
What I'm thinking: "ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF!?!? HOW many times did I say during lunchtime, "SAVE SOMETHING FOR YOUR AFTERNOON SNACK!"? OPEN YOUR EARS, YOU TARD! At least you're not starving in some third-world country... Now go weep over your missing Dunkaroos."

Finally, worst (and most common:)

"Joel, you're so tall! (Proceeds to try and jump on me, clinging at my clothes and stretching them,) give me a piggyback!"
My real-life response: "Well right now I'm busy with (insert fictional activity here,) and that might be dangerous, so why don't you go play (insert dumb game here) instead?"
What I'm thinking: "DON'T TOUCH ME, MY CLOTHES, OR THE AIR AROUND ME, YOU GERM-INFESTED MUCUS MACHINE!!! DO I LOOK LIKE AN AMUSEMENT PARK TO YOU??? DOES MY SHIRT SAY, "2 TICKETS FOR ADMITTANCE"???? NO? THEN SCRAM BEFORE I VOMIT AND SPEW FIRE ONTO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!"

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yes, quite accurate indeed.

right, so when that's all you deal with for 8 hours of the day, it's pretty ... not fun. I mean, yeah, I had an amazing break, but I did work for two Saturdays as well before Christmas, and this is hella demanding, especially that I'll be working a full day on the day before I leave for Toronto at 6:35 in the morning. dread.

oh, my, I have had my fill of fun over the break however! I can't lie. I mean, I'd even include some links from my former journal, BCJ, but that seems to be down, and perhaps it will be for a while.

augh, right, i've got my rantiness out - but here's a brief rundown of life since the new year's eve party @ JF's.

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november 3, 87
so yeah, I was like... born today. sweet.

>> fast-forward 18 years

december 31, 05
parrrrrrrty! it was good. there's more I want to say, but I won't! what I can say is that a) JF had quite the lavish event as usual, b) JF's parents were darlings, c) I got hella drunk AND hella crunk! huzzah! d) oh, JF got me a giant disease (TB, to be exact,) and Nicole got me a gift card @ AE!

january 1, 2006
a day of resolution and rest. a day of reflection and of awe that it's 2006 already. 1996 was a decade ago. and I actually remember it.
january 2, 2006
went for a 5-mile run in the morn. went to the mall and bought an AE shirt with Nicole's genius AE gift certificate. drove out to hampton with mish, told my grand stories. picked up kelsey. had a grand time with shandron (who left at like.. midnight... sad times!), meg, alex, kelsey, and mish.
stats: (what we ate)
-baguette with garlic
-2 pepperoni pizzas
-chocolate ice cream
-orange "smoothies"
-chocolate granola bars
-bacon
-macaroons
-other things I'm forgetting?

stats: (what we did)
-watch "Fight Club" and a little bit of "10 Things I Hate About You"
-slide for an hour
-share humorous new year's eve stories
-smell essential oils
-eat like nuts
-read trivia questions
-spoon
-throw sugar all over the kitchen

stats: (was it good?)
-hell yes!


january 3, 2006
recovery from fat kids party, being driven back from hampton by mom. stopping at the mall to return the bentley's laptop bag. chillaxing, doing other things I forget. well, yeah.
january 4, 2006
working like a slave on crack, and hating it.

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k! enough! i'm off! leave one, leave some love.

yours for now,

joel