TGIF has now become OBHIF: Oh, bloody hell, it's Friday.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCKAROO AND A HALF.

Note: If you do not enjoy explicit language, or are offended by such language, or do not enjoy reading unhappy texts, please refrain from reading the following update.

Dear Blog,

Today was not the best of days. It started out nicely, knowing I had reached the final day of my training for Cendant, which was a long and arduous road. Upon arrival, everything was peachy keen, including an hour-long lunchbreak! Hooray!

However, things took a downturn after this. My good friend Ashley Jane from Ontario had to cancel her CRUISE because of family problems, and I felt so badly for her. And then came the time to bid for our shifts for the upcoming little while (these shifts last up until early-to-mid June, I believe.)

For some retarded reason, my name was one of the bottom three on the list. Minute after minute, I sat in our room as new co-workers of mine came in gleefully annoucing their "sweet shifts," talking about 9:30AM-5:30PM shifts, with weekends off.

Finally, my name was called. I walk in. Oh, GOOD! 7AM shifts were the only shifts available. "Why, golly gee, sign me up and shoot me in the face, fucka!" I said to myself. In an ideal world, I would have proceeded to vomit on the page, but unfortunately I was unable to do so.

So, up until a month from now, I'm going to working 7AM-3:30PM (which means waking up at 6AM every morning apart from Wednesday and Thursday mornings, my days off.) VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT VOMIT.

"This is Howard Johnson Reservations, Joel speaking, DIE."

Well, no, I wouldn't wish death upon any of the customers, but you know what I mean. "FUCKAROO" is truly the only word that comes to mind.

Joel: Hello, Cendant! I have a gift for you!
Cendant: Oh, why charming, what is it?
Joel: IT'S A FUCKAROO

...That feels somewhat better. Except not really. Auuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh.

Who wants to get me drunk and take advantage of me tonight? Call me pronto.

Hugs, kisses, and fuckaroos,

Joel

P.S. What is it with no one returning my calls? ...A huge fuckaroo for you too if you haven't returned my call(s) in the past few days.

P.P.S. Today's Friday Five is about death. Ah, I don't really want to do it, for obvious reasons. So, I'm just going to do the one from last week, otherwise this update will win the E.A. (Emo Association) "Slit Your Wrists" Award of the Year. Eee.

1) Do you like your birth-name? Why?

I sure do! I really do like my name for the most part.

2) If you could change your name to anything else, what would it be?

Probably just make my last name a bit easier to say. Like, I don't dislike my last name, I just wouldn't have chosen it if I had a choice. If I could choose my last name, it'd likely be "Arthurs." Joel Arthurs... Now that's hot.

3) What names would you consider giving your children?

Too simple. My son will be named Kellan, and my girl will be Nigella. I don't care if you don't like them.

4) If you had a band, what would you name it, and why?

Haha, I truly don't even know. It would depend on the band. More likely than not, it'd be either "The Hotties" or "The Models." I don't know yet.

5) Is there a name that you completely hate? Why?

There are none that I completly hate, but there are certainly some I dislike more than others. I dislike generic names, like "Chris" or "Jen," but I know several people with these names. Just keep in mind I somewhat dislike the names, NOT the people! :)