spilling my guts

Well here I sit. It's 5:26PM Atlantic Time, here in Wyndham Worldwide Canada, my workplace. I sit here and take calls from all over the world for hotel reservations, not too exciting, but a job (and a high-paying one at that) nontheless.

There are 18 minutes left until my first break, it's eternal! But soon enough I will be sitting with Tanya, and time always passes quickly when I am sitting with Tanya, we have fun. I forgot my novel, John Steinbeck's "Grapes of Wrath" in my car today, I am never going to finish that book.

A week from today, I will en route to Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

Yes, I know, that's early. Why? Well, according to my parents, living off-campus in an apartment can only mean one of two things:

1) It will cost an arm and a leg, (not necessarily.)
2) It will be a hellhole of doom with rapists and murderers lurking behind every corner, (depends on the apartment.)

However, since I was unable to disspell these stereotypes with my parents, I am living in residence (Pitman Hall) as a ROC (Ryerson Orientation Counsellor) this year. I will live in a ROC suite on Floor 13 of Pitman Hall. I begin my training on August 24th for this position, which sounds as exciting as watching dust collect on old photographs in an archive in some basement somewhere... Yes, that's the extent of the appeal of "training" for me as a ROC.

But who am I to be so sulky? Who am I to say it won't be fun? I'll probably have a blast, most likely, and very much enjoy being "in charge" of the teeny weeny first-years, not to mention being back in the huge city of Toronto! It really is a very fun place to be!!!

It's just that I guess I didn't really see or appreciate any of the time going by this summer... I was just so excited for it to begin, it's all I could think about when I was writing my second-semester exams! And my God, it sure did live up to all the hype, holy! Beaches, parties, movies, dinners, romance, swimming, running, pictures, hangouts, picnics, joy rides, fun - all of that and more!!! It was truly a phenomeonal summer, I am such a lucky guy, oh man.

And that is why at this point, one week prior to departure, it is so hard to "snap back to reality" if you will. I mean of course the past 3 and a half months have not been all ponies and rainbows, as I've had to work so much, and had some "romantic turbulence" for the entire month of June, I didn't make it nearly as far as I wanted to in Saint John Idol, some very important friendships went down the toilet... etc. etc.

I know Saint John is very likely not where I will live for the rest of my life. I am well aware I am extremely fortunate - my parents fund my education (as do I,) I am in a very exclusive program in the huge city of Toronto, and I am a very bright young man with potential to spare. (Or so I hope.) I know full well the number of people who wish they were in my position - those who would kill to get out of their hometown, whether it be Saint John or New York City.

I just... I love this city, and I love my family, my friends, and yes, I am also strongly attached to my lovely girlfriend as well, all of these things. I had a beautiful summer.

So when I have a frown, even for the slightest moment, whether you're in Toronto or Saint John, now you'll understand why. I'm trying my best to make the best of this situation, as this is the crazy life of Joel Vautour, shit son!

And my weekend that just passed, on Acadian Day (August 15th) I went to the museum to sing the National Acadian Anthem with J.F., and I checked out all the galleries with Ben, followed by a visit to the library. That night Katie wanted to see "Step Up," so we did, and it was pretty hot.

Yesterday, we went to Magic Mountain! At first, it looked as if it might not happen - Meghan's SUV busted a tire, and Katie's mom wasn't home yet to perhaps lend the Stang, and since I'm unfortunate, well, I won't elaborate.

However, Magic Mountain did pan out in the end with the help of Katie's mom, and it was amazing. We were there from 4:30-6:30, after which we went to Boston Pizza, which left me feeling pretty sick, I ate foolish amounts (and drank as well). Oh well, the point is that the very little time I have left here in Saint John will be very, very well spent, oh yes... I just hope I get enough time in for my family and those are important to me before I leave.

How funny... When you have lots of time, people will perhaps make plans with you if they have the time themselves. When your time is limited, people clamour to see you.

And those are my guts right now.